a decimal point = I’m a dot in place
A diet = I’d eat
A domesticated animal = Docile, as a man Tamed it
A Gentleman = Elegant Man
a perfectionist = I often practice
A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss = Stroller on Go, Amasses Nothing
A shoplifter = has to pilfer
A stitch in time saves nine = Is this meant as incentive?
A telephone girl = Repeating “Hello”
A telescope = To see place
Achievements = Nice, save them
Action man = cannot aim
Actor Sylvester Stallone = Very cool talentless star
Admirer = Married
Adolf Hitler = Do real filth OR Hell, old far!
Alec Guinness = genuine class
animosity = is no amity
anti-democratic = dictator came in
Apple Products = Support Placed
Apple, Inc = Epic Plan
asteroid threats = disaster to earth
Astronomers = Moon starers
Astronomers = No more stars
Austin Powers = power us satin
Barbie doll = I’ll bare bod
Barbie doll = Babe I’d roll
Barbie doll = Liberal bod
Baseball = Babes All
Beavis and Butthead = Thus, be a bad deviant
Belgium = Big mule
Bob Marley = Marble Boy
Breasts = Bra sets
Bruce Springsteen = Creep brings tunes
Butterfly = Flutter-by
car has = a crash
certainly not = can’t rely on it
Chairman Mao = I am on a march
Chemistry = shit, me cry
Christina Aguilera = Ugly Satanic Hair
Christine = Nice Shirt
Christmas = Trims cash
Christmas tree = Search, Set, Trim
circumstantial evidence = can ruin a selected victim
Clint Eastwood = Old West Action
clothes pins = so let’s pinch
coins kept = in pockets
comfort is = microsoft
Confessional = On scale of sin
Contradiction = Accord not in it
Conversation = Voices Rant On
Dancing with the stars = Winners had tight acts
Darling I love you = leaving your idol
Darling I love you = Avoiding our yell
David Letterman = Nerd amid late TV
Debit card = Bad credit
desperation = a rope ends it
Dick Cheney = Needy Chick
Dictionary = Indicatory
disc = is cd
Disraeli = I lead, Sir
dormitory = dirty room
drum solo = so loud Mr
Election results = Lies – let’s recount
Eleven plus two = Twelve plus one
Elvis = Lives
Emperor Octavian = Captain over Rome
Evangelist = Evil’s Agent
fingertips = finest grip
Fir cones = Conifers
Flamethrower = … oh, felt warmer
Florence Nightingale = Nigel, Fetch an Iron Leg
Florence Nightingale = Flit on Cheering Angel
Frito Lay = Oily Fart
funeral = real fun
Garbage Man = Bag Manager
Gene Simmons = Immense Song
Geologist = Go Get Oils
George Bush = He bugs Gore
George Herbert Walker Bush = Huge Berserk Rebel Warthog
George W Bush = he grew bogus
God save us all = Salvaged soul
goodbye = Obey god
graduation = out in a drag
Guinness draught = naughtiness drug
Halley’s Comet = Shall yet come
Heavy Rain? = Hire a Navy!
Hot water = Worth tea
Howard Stern = Retard shown
I hate school = oh so ethical
I run to escape = A persecution
I spared = a spider
I think therefore I am = I fear to think I’m here
If at first you don’t succeed = try deft, if cautious, second
Indomitableness = Endless ambition
intensive care = I can’t even rise
intoxicate = excitation
ipod lover = poor devil
Jay Leno = Enjoy LA
Jennifer Aniston = fine in torn jeans
John Mayer = Enjoy harm
Justin Timberlake = I’m a jerk but listen
Ladybug = bald guy
Laxative = exit lava
Listen = Silent
MacDonalds = Clam and Sod
Madam Curie = Radium came
madonna louise ciccone = one cool dance musician
Many a true word is spoken in jest = Men joke, and so win trusty praise
Margaret Thatcher = That great charmer
Martin Scorsese = Screen is a storm
meal for one = for me alone
Mel Gibson = Big Melons
Mel Gibson = Bong Smile
Microsoft Windows = Sown in discomfort
Microwave = Warm Voice
Milosevic = Cos I’m evil
Monica Lewinsky = Nice silky woman
mother-in-law = woman Hitler
Motley Crue = Me Cruel Toy
Mr Mojo risin’ = Jim Morrison
my ideal time = Immediately
Narcissism = Man’s crisis
Naturalist = A trails nut
New York Times = Monkeys write
No admittance = contaminated
older and wiser = I learned words
One good turn deserves another = Do rogues endorse that? No, never!
orators hate = a sore throat
Osama bin Laden = A bad man (no lies)
parishioners = I hire parsons
Patrick Stewart = A Crap Trek Twist
Payment received = Every cent paid me
Please hold the line = Telephone aids Hell
Postmaster = Stamp Store
Pre Calculus = Call up curse
Presbyterians = Best In Prayers
President Bush = Burnished Pest
President Bush of the USA = A fresh one, but he’s stupid
President Clinton of the USA = to copulate he finds interns
President W = Newest Drip
Princess Diana = end is a car spin
Protectionism = Cite no imports
Punishment = Nine Thumps
rats and mice = in cat’s dream
Rome was not built in a day = Any labour I do wants time
Rome wasn’t built in a day = but Italians may wonder
Rome wasn’t built in a day = but laid in two years, man
Ronald Reagan = A darn long era
Ronald Wilson Reagan = Insane Anglo Warlord
Ronald Wilson Reagan = No, darlings, no ERA law
Saddam Hussein = UN’s said he’s mad
Salman Rushdie = Read, Shun Islam
San Francisco Giants = Fascinating, No scars
Santa Monica = satanic moan
Say it with flowers = We flirt so this way
School master = The classroom
school student = tends to slouch
semolina = is no meal
Sherlock Holmes = He’ll mesh crooks
Sheryl crow = her slow cry
shower time = where moist
Silicon Graphics = A Long Chip Crisis
Silicon Graphics = Can logic ship, sir?
Silicon Graphics = Gosh, sir, I can clip!
slot machines = cash lost in ‘em
snooze alarms = Alas! No more Zs
Software = Swear Oft
Spice Girls = Pig Slices
Spiro Agnew = Grow a spine
Statue of Liberty = built to stay free
Student Information Processing Board = Computation Transgression Forbidden
Stupid Girl = Drips Guilt
Summer, Autumn, Winter, Spring = Time’s running past, we murmur
Sunshine and Shadow = Show in Sun and Shade
sweep the floor = too few helpers
Sycophant = Acts phony
TS Eliot = toilets
television ads = enslave idiots
Television programming = Permeating living rooms
The Apple Macintosh = Machines apt to help
The best things in life are free = Nail-biting refreshes the feet!
The centenarians = I can hear ten “tens”
The Check is in the Mail = Claim “Heck, I sent it (heh)”
The Cincinnati Reds = Indecent Christian
The cockroach = Cook, catch her
The country side = No City Dust Here
The Detectives = Detect Thieves
The ears = Hear set
the earthquakes = that queer shake
The end of the World is nigh! = Down this hole, frightened
The eyes = They see
The Great New York Rapid Transit Tunnel = Giant work in street, partly underneath
The Hilton = Hint: Hotel
The Hospital Ambulance = A Cab, I Hustle to Help Man
The Hurricanes = These churn air
The Meaning of Life = The fine game of nil
the Morse code = here come dots
The president of Iraq, Saddam Hussein = Press had to enquire if this man’s dead
The Public Art Galleries = Large Picture Halls, I Bet
The Railroad Train = Hi! I Rattle and Roar
The Simpson’s = men’s hot piss
The terrorist Osama Bin Laden = Arab monster is no idle threat
The Titanic disaster = Death, it starts in ice
The United States Bureau of Fisheries = I Raise the Bass to Feed Us in the Future
The United States of America = Attaineth its cause: Freedom!
Thomas Jefferson = O, short name’s Jeff
Time and tide wait for no man = Notified madman into water
timetable = Bet I’m late
To cast pearls before swine = One’s labor is perfect waste
Tom Cruise = So I’m Cuter
Tony Blair, PM = I’m Tory plan B
Tuesday, November Third = Many Voted, Bush Retired
Vacation Times = I’m Not as Active
vegetarian = ate in grave
Victoria, England’s Queen = governs a nice quiet land
video game = give a demo
Virginia Bottomley = I’m an evil Tory bigot
Waitress = A stew, Sir?
War on terrorism = Swarm into error
Western Union = no wire unsent
Why do you care? = Hey you coward!
Why shouldn’t America go re-elect President Clinton in Ninety-Six? = He has a prime or cunning tendency to wildly solicit Internet sex
William Clinton = I’m it, an ill clown
William Jefferson Clinton = Firm clean fellow Joint? Sin!
William Jefferson Clinton = Jail Mrs Clinton: Felon wife
William Shakespeare = I am a weakish speller
William Shakespeare = I’ll make a wise phrase
Year Two Thousand = a year to shut down
young lad = an old guy
